New Obstacles and Unknown Roads

It's hard for me to even think about the right words to right here. Yesterday, Figaro was diagnosed with Feline Leukemia. This is certainly not the road I wanted to be traveling on with my first "grown up" pet. I'm 27 years old, work mostly from home and was looking forward to being able to take care of my cat for many, many years to come. It's strange because I know so many people that are affected by cancer in their families and now to be dealing with it in Figgy...it's absolutely destroyed me these past two days. I am trying to think things like "all I can do is give him the best life possible" and "he was meant to find me" (because of him back story) but I have all of these selfish feelings of pain and sadness at the thought that he won't be in my life for as long as I thought because of this horrible diagnosis. It's hard not knowing when his time is going to come and even harder that I feel like there is nothing I can do to help him. I'm hoping by joining this community, I can find pet parents that are going through the same thing so we can support each other as we go down this difficult road with our furry kiddos.

I've read about these injections that can prolong the life of the cat and I struggle with that as well because I am not sure if that would be the most humane route or even if I can find a vet that would do it. I really don't want Figgy to spend his life at the vet. I want him to have a happy and full life without the feeling of pain or stress from surgeries/constant treatments. I feel like that is the least selfish thing I can do. I feel like he doesn't know he is sick so we should just carry on as if he isn't and then when he is unable to fight off illnesses we will deal with it at the time. I feel like there is some sort of lesson that he is supposed to teach me as we go down this road. It's heartbreaking but I have to believe that everything happens for a reason and he is supposed to be with me.

If anyone reads this and has some input, advice or a similar story..please contact me. I am the only person I know with a FeLV+ cat. Figaro is estimated to be 6 or 7 months old. He was a Baltimore City cat that walked into my friend's townhouse to escape the cold. She already had 2 cats and was unable to keep him. I knew I wanted to adopt a cat after Christmas and as if it was fate, she posted his picture and story on Facebook. I picked him up on December 28 and he was diagnosed on January 7.